Boys: How to Deal (Photographically Speaking)

Pinky Tuscadero

So, I have this friend with three boys. Plus a husband. I feel her pain. I mean, we got a female dog so I could justify buying something pink now and then.

She (my friend, not the dog) asked me to do her family picture and I’m jazzed like I just won tickets to a Go-Gos concert. But I’m also losing sleep.

Boys are hard.

Show me a boy who hasn’t looked directly into a camera and shoved his pointer finger into his nose and I’ll show you a boy who’s most likely Amish.

Boys are dorks

It’s in the genes. Boys can’t help but be dorks when the camera is on them.

So, here’s the deal. I can just show up at the shoot and let things unfold organically (aka, disastrously), OR I can P.L.A.N.

On my first night of lost sleep I came up with this little gem: Buy flowers. But don’t just hand them to her. Take the youngest aside and tell him to surprise her with the bouquet. The others will be slightly off to the side watching for her expression and it’s guaranteed to be lovely.

Second night of lost sleep: Doggie pile on Dad. He’s a tough guy. He can handle it. All that testosterone can be a fantastic prop for the main attraction: Mom. And there she’ll be, delicately perched on top, checking her nails nonchalantly like it’s the most comfy chair ever.

Third night (I’m a little slap-happy by now): Threaten them with a viewing of The Notebook (extended cut) if they don’t behave. This may only work on the older boys, but peer pressure does wonders. Dollars to donuts the last movie this mom has seen is Captain America and the one before that was Thor and before that it was Transformers III. (Okay, maybe I’m projecting. She’s probably seen Harry Potter, too.) If they don’t straighten up, at the very least they’ll be laughing at the prospect of an hour and a half with Nicholas Sparks.

Throw in your two cents here. I need some sleep.

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