5 Mistakes I Made at the Makeup Counter

I’m trying a whole new skin care regimen this morning. Yes, this post will be about moisturizer and the fact that I made my 10-year-old touch my face before breakfast. If you don’t like it, you know where the jewelry counter is. I’ll meet you over there in a few.

For my forty-something birthday, I treated myself to the Real Stuff. The Real Stuff being the kind of skin care products for which you have to go to the mall, meet with lab-coat Suzy and hope you have enough on your debit card.

So I did it. But, being new to the dance, there were some mistakes made along the way. (That’s politician-speak for I Made Mistakes.) Let me share them with you so when you turn forty-something and decide to hit the pause button, you won’t make them too. Or, if you do, we’ll have something to laugh about.

1. I beelined to the nearest counter from the door. I ejected myself from the forced heat incubation station between the double doors leading to the perfectly temperate, gloriously smelling and flatteringly lit department store and marched straight for the blessed counter. Time will tell if this is a true mistake or not. (The box says I should see a difference in less than 4 weeks!)

2. I snagged the first lab-coat Suzy I could find. Maybe I could have found someone closer to my age. Maybe even closer to my ethnicity. At least she was my gender, right? To her credit, her skin looked fabulous.

3. I expected my $100+ to give me the Higgs boson for skin. I want that cream to cause subatomic particles to smash together like a cosmic light show in the middle of the night and form a whole new layer of skin. I want to wake up without the wattle. I don’t want to wear turtlenecks anymore. I don’t want to look like I’m frowning when I’m actually smirking. I mean really, people. If the smirk doesn’t come across properly, then what do we have left?

4. Maybe I could have spent more time finding out in what order and at exactly what time I should be using each of the sixty-three bottles in the hand-stitched, quilted bag she gave me. Because I was too scared to ask too many questions, I ended up with this list she wrote for me. It will be laminated, burned to a disk and uploaded to the Cloud in case I lose the original. It’s so important that I’m not even hung up on the fact there’s a misspelling. (Okay, well maybe a little.)

5. Overall, my greatest mistake was not doing it sooner. Even my 10-year-old couldn’t believe how great my skin feels, God bless him. He always knows just what to say.

9 thoughts on “5 Mistakes I Made at the Makeup Counter

  1. I recently upgraded from the generic equivalent of Oil of Olay to the more expensive Neutrogena. And I discovered that what is making the most difference to my skin is how much water I drink. My plan is to spend the money I would have used for lotions on adult diapers.

  2. Did I ever tell you, that in my hay-day I was a Lancôme make-up artist and skincare consultant? I even worked up to a Counter Manager! hee-hee! Such a fun job, except having to work many weekends and holidays. So, here are a few tid-bits of info I’d like to share: despite the profound amount of beauty knowledge they seem to possess, not all consultants know what they are talking about. There are many classes and conferences these gals can and should attend; and many are not trained as thoroughly as others. In other words, don’t hesitate to ask any questions to someone with more experience. That said, you may want to ask about the order in which you apply your new goodies. I have never heard of serum coming before toner. The toner is there to sweep away any leftover residue the cleanser did not get, as well as bring your skin to the proper pH as to allow the serum and moisturizer to better to their jobs. 🙂 Love your blogs, BTW!

    • Robin! This is EXACTLY what I told Jerry this morning! I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why I was taking that darn serum back off – especially since it was like $1/drop. I’m SO glad you said something. I didn’t know you were a Lancôme makeup artist, but I can guarantee you, now that I know, I’ll be in touch more often 🙂 I guess this means I need a new list. Thank you!

  3. The best primer I have found is…wait for it…. Monistat Soothing Care Chafing Relief Powder-Gel. It’s $7 a tube and much bettter than the sephora or smashbox primers that cost at least twice as much.
    My problem is, I’m always a sucker for the newest anti-wrinkle eye creams. Always hoping this is the one that will make me look 25 again. I don’t want to BE 25 again, mind you, just look 25 again! 🙂

    • No way! I’ve never heard of that. Is it because it tightens the skin? That sounds crazy and wonderful at the same time (crazy because, you know, it’s Monistat, and wonderful because I’m pretty sure I could dig $7 from between the seats in the car.) Fascinating! I don’t want to be 25 either. There were way too many diapers involved with being 25.

  4. I love this post because I’ve just started forking out cold hard cash at Sephora to help what’s happening in the area that once was my “real face”. The jury is still out. I didn’t want to pay for the big bottles the first time around so I got the travel sized kit to see if I liked it. I’m going back for more, so obviously I’ve drunk the kool-aid. All I know, is I wish I started taking care of my skin sooner.

    • Amen, sister. I just started washing off my makeup less than 24 hours ago. I’m so behind the curve I’m going to need spackle soon. And I can’t even blame my mother. She told me so.

  5. Pingback: There’s a Bathroom on the Right « unsweptstone

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